he wrote a novel on the unfathomable tale of borders and guns, of smiles and veil when the moon was full and stars were bright hazy way ahead and distance infinite when holding on wasn’t enough for sure but carrying on was the only cure and the majestic writer wrote from far ashore for this was neither fiction nor folklore
and he wanted someone to take this part so he asked me to play this role with all my heart from ups and downs and togetherness since may i have lived it all at once to make her stay and as she agreed for this bond to grow we tied the knot to go with the flow
she’s the one who returns to the good to be as bright as a star and i’m from somewhere else but not too far
It’s been about 7 years since I know Moniba – https://theordinaryblog2.wordpress.com/ now. I met her online on Hello Poetry (a poetry sharing website) back in May 2014 and there was an instant connection. Back in the day, I would’ve never accepted a proposal from Pakistan because they’re our (India) enemies. And now, I’m married to Moniba – the most beautiful girl ever in this whole wide world. No matter the roadblocks, the endless issues and what not, I’m so much grateful to God for giving me this unreal opportunity to spend my life with her. And in the end what matters is love and the undying intent. There’s enough hate in this world already. I cannot imagine my life without her anyway. I’m so much thankful to Eliot York and team for creating Hello Poetry. It’s an exceptional platform to put forward your thoughts and appreciate the lovely work of the community. There’s no way I’m going to call this or any creative website as a dating platform, but if you feel a strange, love like connect with someone, then go ahead. Life’s too short to keep regrets. And God’s there to help you through if you’re honest. Thanks for reading. Keep loving & keep writing.
a feeling shivers down my idle body and eyes begin to narrow as my hand goes to my chin i don’t know why but i’m quite certain that you saw my pictures on social media a picture of my little adventure a picture of my smile a picture with my loved ones and many more
you must’ve curiously looked at all of them only to end up being sad to think of me being in a forever happy state and lose a piece of yourself yet again to drift away into numbness by overthinking and question yourself and the past to let out unending tears from your eyes till you can no longer think of us together and to cry further at the reality of your life while you continue to be in disbelief and ask yourself repeatedly, ‘how can he move on without me?’
to that i’ll maybe answer to you in my thoughts or to this shivering feeling we can no longer be together but i know your worth and i understand what i’ve lost the pictures can never define what’s in my heart only this quietude can yes, we parted ways years ago but i’ve cherished all those moments with you so please know that i remember you, in this very moment i just remember you and nothing else i remember you i remember you . . . you never wanted to be a memory but now you are a very fond one…
How does the intensity increase? What ignites a poet to create a mesmerizing masterpiece?
Is it a vacant room full of pills or a view capturing the hills? The sweetness of a romantic piano tune or the sublte warmth of the winter afternoon? A continuous week of self sacrifice or someone’s beautiful face to fantasize? Some old notes written on the last page or a broken mic with no stage? The poignant sound of falling rain or the comfort of soothing pain? A lover to cherish for life or a combination of wrist and knife? The widespread stars and moon hanging in the sky or a sudden, unacceptable last goodbye? The rush of waves touching the feet or something that is completely obsolete? One sharp word to pierce the heart or a spellbinding work of art? A day’s stay in the city of the special one who left or that unfathomable heaviness inside the chest? The pleading and begging to make someone stay or the immediate desire to pray?
The first and last deep dive into a pair of eyes or a pointless life with no sunrise?
The words that come out are carefully filtered They stick to the theme, and fail to display the stories within a story The reader reads the poem, and not the poet’s infamous glory
When the poem loses its charm to fade away Another thought invites the poet
And the sentiments of a poet can never be wrong Only to the poet they belong And they prolong, to go on and on..
I truly believe that music is the backbone of a song, so I value music more than lyrics.
I will give you a brief insight to my musical journey and then start with my song recommendation. I love recommending songs!
The Start –
Back in the day – just like most Indian teenagers I started listening to Hindi movie songs, Hindi songs were great back then. A good Hindi song is hard to find these days!
Early Teenage Days –
I got introduced to Green Day during my high school days, thanks to the UEFA Champions League 2008/09 feature song – Boulevard of Broken Dreams. Green Day instantly became my first favorite band and then I heard a lot of Eminem (I sometimes still do), Linkin Park, Switchfoot, Poets of the Fall etc.
Transitioning to Maturity –
Porcupine Tree is that one band which quickly replaced all other artists/bands. Why? Because they’re so melancholic. I got addicted to their music, I felt their music pushed the best poetry out of my soul. And just like that my moongazing-stargazing sessions started, I wasn’t afraid of going up to the terrace at night and also started admiring the beauty of night. Sadly, the band broke up in 2009… I’m wondering why I called myself mature up there.
Anyway, without further ado, here are some songs from the past I still prefer to listen.
Half Light by Porcupine Tree
Why you should listen to this – This song is simply unearthly. The music is fantastic, and the lyrics are spot on. If you’ve lost someone, then this song is for you.
Best Time to Listen – Anytime at night
Lazarus by Porcupine Tree
Why you should listen to this – Because it’s very simple and such a joyful song. Again, Porcupine Tree’s music is out of this world, and the lyrics are great. If you want some positive vibes, then this song is for you.
Best Time to Listen – Anytime at night during winters I guess
Heartattack in a Layby by Porcupine
Why you should listen to this – I really don’t want any of you to be sad but this is a great breakup song. For sure you can see my love for Porcupine Tree, the first time I heard this song – I got goosebumps and I played it on repeat for several days. If you’ve had a breakup, please proceed with caution and take care.
Best Time to Listen – Anytime (a broken heart is always lost)
Trains by Porcupine Tree
Why you should listen to this – This is a great summer song with awesome music. I’m still trying to figure out the meaning of the song’s lyric, but you can give this one a try and feel the summer vibe.
Best Time to Listen– Anytime at night during summers
Fadeaway by Porcupine Tree
Why you should listen to this – Okay so I don’t smoke or drink, but this is for those who stay high. The music is trippy, and the lyrics are fine too. Try not to intoxicate yourself.
Best Time to Listen – Anytime when you’re not planning to be high
Transatlanticism by Death Cab for Cutie
Why you should listen to this – This song isn’t too special for me anymore but it’s still great and has decent music and lyrics. If you need someone very close right now, then this song is for you.
Best Time to Listen – Anytime at night
Love of My Life by Queen
Why you should listen to this – Who doesn’t want to listen to Freddie Mercury? If you haven’t heard this man, you’re in for a treat now. Freddie wrote this song for Mary Austin – the lady love of his life. Although he was gay (I’ve no issues with anyone who’s Homosexual) and died of AIDS in 1991 but I respect him coz he left his entire mansion for Mary Austin and her family.
The song is beautiful and so is her majesty – Queen.
Best Time to Listen – Anytime
Bewajah, produced by Coke Studio
Why you should listen to this – This is a desi song for anyone who understands Urdu/Hindi. A great song which brings back memories of your past lover. Lyrics are well crafted and music too is decent.
Best Time to Listen – Anytime
And that’s it for now! Thanks for reading and listening to all these.
Please let me know what you think about them and feel free to suggest your favorite songs. Enjoy!
When the heart of someone’s ambition takes them far to make them live their dream, the same time the faith of someone else’s ambition will be at its lowest and yearn for that little tick. It’ll question its desire, lock itself in a black sphere, insanely smile at the failed attempts, and wonder about the existence of God.
And when this broken ambition witnesses the pinnacle of success, the same time someone else’s ambition will struggle to survive.
It’s all about the deep hopelessness, those never meant to be give ups, the partial breakdowns, time, and patience. It’ll all flow.
Today on my 6th anniversary with WordPress, I’d like to request everyone to always believe and fight for their dreams. Also, write poetry along the way.
Thank you all for this amazing experience, I’m ever so grateful for this.
And if you ever feel lonely, remember these lines from my favorite football club – Liverpool FC
I’m taking a break from posting poetry on this blog, but I’m going to tell you all how I fell in love and got married to the love of my life – Moniba Mehboob. The journey is a roller coaster ride!
I hope you enjoy reading this!
Part 1 – Hello Poetry (Conversation between hamid khan & Moniba Mehboob – et cetera)
It was 15th May 2014 when I sent a message to a poetess on ‘Hello Poetry’. It was just a simple message, but the message wasn’t really a ‘conversation beginner’ type. You don’t usually expect a response from a girl, that too from a stranger. But I got a response from her the next day, her message was quite pleasant, and I guess I responded back with something to keep the conversation go on for a while. That was the start.
Then soon I lost interest because typing isn’t my ‘thing’, so I replied with ‘Hmm’ or ‘Okay’ etc. Interestingly, she even responded to that, it was strange. Felt like we switched genders. You know we are judgmental in some way or the other, so I thought this girl is fat or someone who isn’t attractive or someone who’s just crazy or desperate. Why would she always respond to my close ended messages, no one does that! Also, at one point I thought it was a guy. However, her messages always made me smile.
But her poetry was always terrific, I genuinely felt every word. It was too good, and it inspired me to keep writing. I was and still am a pathetic writer anyway.
So, our conversation grew, and we talked about poetry and our interests of train travel, moon-gazing, spending time in a forest at night, walking on railway tracks, my love for solitude and much more. Sometimes the conversation was so fresh, it felt like I was living a dream with this person I haven’t seen. When you get emotionally involved in a conversation you tend to say sweet things. I knew she wouldn’t mind because the conversation was completely clean. I just praised her, you know what I mean. The conversations used to go on till late night till we were both exhausted.
You are going to wonder how we both managed this? I was doing my 6-month long university internship and she had her exams, so she stayed up late. And she was quite good in studies, so she had plenty time to talk to me. I think I was in the 1st or 2nd month of the internship and I hardly went to the office. Also, I was a solitary person.
One day during our conversation, she said that I scare her! That she has raised her walls up high! That was a weird thing to say, I guess.
I think I had an idea what she meant but I pretended I had no clue, so I asked for an explanation. She didn’t explain and I was okay with it, because in my mind she’s… still fat? I don’t know. You can only have a profile and cover picture on Hello Poetry. She didn’t put up her photos there, she also said that she covers her head and does ‘Hijab’. Muslim women usually cover their head with a scarf to hide their hair and even their face at times, also wear a long dress called an ‘Abaya’. That is what Hijab means to me. And those women practice Hijab so that strange men don’t see them. Okay enough of explanation.
Also, she was in Karachi, Pakistan and I was in Delhi, India. She thought I was a spy, I thought she was a spy. Anyway.
So sometime in June 2014 she said, ‘you scare me because you’re the type of guy I could fall hard for’. That was the point which made so happy because a girl proposed first. Is she fat? I didn’t care at that moment, I was just very happy. And then after a few days I asked her if she is fat, or ugly looking or a guy or even a spy or a robot. She didn’t clarify, but I was okay because I really started liking her – the way she’d ramble, tell me different stories, even had an old Nokia phone and wrote handwritten letters! Who does that?
That was a lovely time, but we were too immature as well. A Pakistani girl in love with an Indian boy, how is that going to work? So, to keep ourselves in the reality we often spoke about her getting married to someone there and then we meet at a foreign location etc. Just the way it happens in Bollywood movies. But we even kept the dream sequence clean, we had no other option. Talking to her did soothe my soul but I was also hurt somewhere that she was going to be just another chapter in my life. We both decided to just speak about abstract things, our daily routine and agreed that we’ll speak and be together till the time comes for one of us to leave. It was unsettling but it was the only way to continue.
Our conversation then shifted to Facebook. I’ll post a part 2 soon when I’ve sometime.
I’ll also take a moment here to clarify that now I am mature enough to respect people of different color, size, religion and what not. I sincerely apologize if I’ve hurt anybody’s sentiments through this post.
fell asleep with open eyes alcoholic inhale and bohemian sighs flat on floor, grey in size rock ‘n roll and private life
deep in sense and loud periphery clothed in mess and burberry second to none, never tertiary his majesty – freddie mercury!
On a sidenote – how times change and you move away from punk rock to a bit of ‘operatic-mellow’ genre, you stay there a while and then the opera paves way for a complex musical voyage which can’t be contained in a genre. that’s how i can describe the change in my musical taste – starting with green day, linkin park to queen, pink floyd, led zeppelin, guns n roses to porcupine tree, pineapple thief.. life goes on but it pauses a few songs from the past. they play in your head after ages when you least expect them to, and those songs in their digital being replace the current moment with frames of the past. that’s when you thank these legends for the purest nostalgia..
I’m still choosing the best between Freddie Mercury and Steven Wilson.
i vaguely remember the sound of crying as i made my way out of my mother’s womb it came from distance when i was born in 1983 and then all was washed away i grew up to become a shy boy the only child of my parents i experienced change, i welcomed happiness i opened gates for tears, and i closed myself in a shell
sometimes i thought i was a nightmare in someone else’s head sometimes maybe just a simple creation of god or perhaps a memory i don’t know questions were all in front of my eyes answers maybe hiding behind my back no matter how much i turn around and look back i am always looking at the questions i can never look back
the questions started to rise ‘what do i want to do in life?’ ‘how can i be successful?’ the list started to grow and then i took a pause to appreciate love love from my parents love from the one i secretly admired suddenly, heart became the epicenter of everything i realized my heart is a companion of love while the brain always interferes to create doubt
she had a scar on her forehead, her hair all brown the way i imagined it, i don’t know when brown instantly became my favorite color i felt a strong connection with the scar i had dreams, feelings, all for her all pure and genuine the world became a happy place questions were no longer in sight every moment was intense but soon i realized that it was unrequited that i had to knock on the door of pain, sooner or later
i knew i had to endure the mind said ‘don’t give up’ the heart whispered ‘in another lifetime’ they both changed roles heart could only induce pain while the brain could imagine, imagine her with me the heart could only beat beat out of tune i began to think more but this time the more i thought, the more i could hear ‘in another lifetime’
my mind became a muddled pendulum oscillating in a chaotic manner when one end swayed towards a sea of imagination the other rolled towards the cluster of reality and there was no middle, nothing in between all empty maybe her, but she wasn’t visible so everything was a numbing climax
i tried and tried again, fuming with anger trying to overcome this complex paradigm where all you need to do is endure and act act like it doesn’t hurt act like it is just a matter of time act like you know how to deal with it so i saw birds flying i read poetry of the past i spent time with friends turned towards the lighter side of life but the questions returned, this time with more force
‘why do you pretend?’ ‘why do you act’? ‘why do you endure’? ‘why don’t you break free’? this time when my mind oscillated from end to another i could see something in between i saw an end i realized that all i am is a thought i could never become an idea i knew the answers will always be behind my back
so i jumped from a high rise building going past all the questions with speed as my parents watched and helplessly cried i died on the spot . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . i vaguely remember the sound of crying as i made my way out of my mother’s womb it came from distance when i was born in 2007 and then all was washed away i grew up to become a happy boy a boy who loved his mother more than anything in this world a boy who kissed her forehead scar and played with her brown hair just the way he imagined it in another…
This poem doesn’t promote suicide. This poem isn’t about suicide. This can either be a dream sequence or a story of rebirth. You decide. For me, this is a thought that became an idea.